Random Thoughts

Yes, I know... this blog was meant for toys. I have to admit, I have tons of toys that I want to feature in this blog but my adult life is not giving me much time to do this. :( .. I would however will find more time to do all those very soon.

So this blog will basically just take a bit of break from my passion for toys.

I want to talk about me. 

Soon, I will be turning 40 and I am really hoping that it will be a big turning point in my life. They say that “Life Begins at 40” ... so am looking forward to that (as if I had a choice).

Early disclaimer... I am happy. I am human though and of course, there will be moments of doubt and uncertainty. 

Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if I am were am I supposed to be... if I took the right path... I guess there will never be answers to those questions but I sometimes can’t help but wonder.

I question worth sometimes and feel really lonely when I do so. Why am I really here? Where should I go? Why am I alive? 

I am turning 40 and I am single. I live for my family : my parents, brothers, sister and nephews and nieces. They are my priority. Between what I want and what they want, I would always try to get what they want first... and that makes ME happy, genuinely happy. There are moments though that I sometimes feel that no one really looks out for me. I mean, yes my family really loves me but I will never be someone else’s TOP priority. I get it and I don’t hold it against any of them... as it is a given... but it’s just sad. :( ... Like if the end of the world would be known to happen in like an hour, everyone would have that someone that they would like to be with for that last hour... who would be with me? I am no one’s “person” ... and it’s sad.

Hopefully the world does not end soon and it gives me time to “start my life” and be someone else’s person.