Fan Girl in Me

Love stories always make my heart flutter. 

The kilig you feel as you see love unfold before you gives a genuine happiness that leaves my heart smiling. 

This maybe the reason why years ago, I got into watching various Asian Dramas. I was addicted to it. I would spend hours and hours of watching a series. 

With the adult life keeping me busy, I have drastically lessen the series that I watch. I do still watch once in a while but not as frequent as I used to. 

The 2 month quarantine has allowed me though to go back to my addition. 

Now, am completely hooked again! 

I have watched countless of series in the two months that I have been stuck at home. With all the series I've watched. I have fallen in love over and over again. 

Now, I am totally obsessed...

PARK BO GUM 

I've always been into this pretty man. When I watched Love in the Moonlight years ago, I was pretty much in love with him and has never stopped fan girling over him. I mean, seriously, would there be any sane person who would not appreciate this kind of beauty?! 

PARK SEO JOON

  

Who wouldn't be crazy over this superbly sexy man!? I've seen "What's Wrong with Secretary Kim", a series that was said to have sky rocketed his career and has turned him into the King of Rom-Com in Korea. Though I enjoyed watching the drama, I wasn't that hooked with him after it. It was when I watched Itaewon Class that got me obsessing over him. I kept on hearing good reviews about Itaewon Class but for some reason, everytime I would try to start on watching it, I wouldn't be that interested and would opt to go and watch another series. I don't think I got passed episode 1 before. Due to the lack of options, I decided to endure the first episode. I am so glad I did... when I did get through episode 1, I didn't stop. I spent the entire day just watching it. The effect on me? I can't get enough of Park Seo Joon. What I don't get is that he wasn't even that cute in Itaewon Class. He was as sexy as ever but was not as cute as he was in What's Wrong with Secretary Kim. Nonetheless, this drama has made me a big fan of Park Seo Joon. 

As I write this, I have watched all his vlogs, watched countless videos of him in an airport and has seen almost all behind the scenes videos of him in his different dramas. 

It's funny how these Kdrama stars can actually make me feel a bit on the crazy side. My phone is filled with their pictures and I have even changed the wallpapers in all my gadgets to their pictures. Weird? Yah... I know!

However, they make me feel happy. Watching their dramas, seeing their videos, looking at their pictures and even listening to their songs make me forget whatever worries I have.

And that in itself makes my fan girling a tad less crazy. 

They make me happy... and that's all that matters.  

Week 4 in Lockdown

Day 22

April 7, 2020 (Tuesday)

No matter how long it takes, we can not give up. We have to keep fighting. There's always hope when your heart is strong. No matter how defeated, exhausted and hopeless we feel, we can not give up. Let our efforts and sacrifices the past 22 days be not in vain. We have to continue staying strong and doing our part in this battle. We will win this, together.

😌🥴 😩

Day 23

April 8, 2020 (Wednesday)

Allow yourself to stop, pause and just do nothing for a bit. In nothingness, you just might find meaning... or at least a reason to keep on going. 

😩

Day 24

April 9, 2020 (Thursday)

"Love one another as I have loved you."

Day 25

April 10, 2020 (Friday)

"He died on the cross for me, I live for him."

Day 26

April 11, 2020 (Saturday)

“His cross stands empty in a world grown silent.

Through hours of anguish and of dread

In stillness, earth awaits the Resurrection.”

Day 27

April 12, 2020 (Sunday)

Easter Sunday brings us HOPE. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope that one day, when we wake up to a new day, a better world awaits us.

It’s been almost a month since we’ve been under ECQ and yet we find ourselves still cooped up in our houses, praying for a brighter future. We have to endure this as this is the only way that we could defeat the virus.

A better tomorrow will come, let’s not lose hope.

🕊️

Day 28

April 13, 2020 (Monday)

Today I had a bit of time to catch up with friends via video chat. It was comforting to laugh with them again. Among all the things that this crisis has taught us, one of the most important thing is that we should NEVER take for granted our moments with our loved ones : our family and friends. 

🤗

Week 3 in Lockdown

Day 15

March 31, 2020 (Tuesday)

No matter how I try to avoid looking through social media to avoid the bad news that COVID-19 brings, I just can’t help it. Though it brings me anxiety, I also want to know what is happening to our battle against this virus. Today marks a sad day as we registered one of the highest recorded new cases. It’s unsettling but I know and I claim that soon, we will see a drop in the number of new cases. I would like to believe that as one nation, we will learn the importance of our role and will come together to triumph over this crisis. We can do this.

We fight as one.

We heal as one.

We WILL win as one.

😨 😷 💪 🥺

Day 16

April 1, 2020 (Wednesday)

I can’t wait for all these to be over. To look back at what we are going through now and just appreciate that we were able to overcome it. I am looking forward to talking about this lockdown with my friends and to hear their stories of how they got by. I want all the pain, suffering and fear to just go away so that we can go back to rebuilding the future. This too shall pass. I know, I believe, I claim it.

🙏🏻 😌

Day 17

April 2, 2020 (Thursday)

They say that in a crisis, the REAL you comes out. It’s amazing how this crisis has shown the genuine spirit of what a Filipino is all about. Those in power who really have the heart for service are doing all that they can (and maybe even more) to help. You see ordinary individuals coming together to extend support, compassion and help in the best way possible. Our frontliners are battling the virus with so much strength and courage despite the fear that looms over them. There are so many great individuals out there that can be instrumental to the healing of our nation. So many…

I refuse to dwell on the bad things; I refuse to give attention to those who are mindlessly focusing on useless issues; I refuse to be consumed with frustration and anger over those who instead of uplifting our spirits during this time of uncertainty, give more doubt and fear.

We all know that there is only one way out of this… and that is if we learn to WORK TOGETHER. We are all in this together and TOGETHER we will make it through.

😡 😖   

Day 18

April 3, 2020 (Friday)

I went out for a quick medicine run today and attempted to go to the grocery. Decided not to push through with grocery as the line was really long. When I arrived home, I sanitized what I bought, took off my clothes, took a batch at the laundry area, went inside the house and took a bath again. How did life turn out this way?

This too shall pass. Please, let this pass soon.

🙏🏻

Day 19

April 4, 2020 (Saturday)

Today may be tough. Things might not be going our way now but things will be better. Do not allow the bad things stop us from finding reasons to smile.

“Lift your head, baby don’t be scared,

Of the things that could go wrong along the way

You’ll get by, with a SMILE

You can’t win at everything but you can try.”

Day 20

April 5, 2020 (Sunday)

20 long days have gone by. We’ve been through a lot the past 20 days. A lot of uncertainty, fear, pain and frustrations have gone our way. Just when we feel that things are way down, now we see a glimmer of hope. The cases have dropped the past 2 days from a high of 500+ and now we are starting to see the horizon. One step at a time, little by little, inch by inch… let’s continue to hold each other’s hand (make sure to sanitize though… :P) and work toward our goal of defeating this virus. Let’s continue to do our part, no matter how small, and fervently pray that this crisis will be over soon. We’ve got our foot in the door, let’s not let it go.

We’ve got this.

💪😇🤞

Day 21

April 6, 2020 (Monday)

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

🤞

2nd Week on Lockdown

Day 8

March 24, 2020 (Tuesday)

              Being at home makes me lose my sense of time. :P I even had a hard time thinking what day it is now. ☹ Time seems to go by faster now that I’ve surpassed one week of being home. 

              Yes, we are still in the dark. We still don’t see the end… but I see light that shines through people who are using their time, creativity and resources to extend help to those in need. Make shift face shields and other protective equipment that can be used by our front liners are being crafted by these brilliant individuals. These are the people we need now. These are the people that we should emulate. It does not have to be a grand gesture, whatever we can do is enough. Our contribution may not be as big but doing our part, in our own little way will have an impact. Staying home, taking care of your loved ones, not fueling negativity, praying and just by believing in the good of others can make a difference.

👍 🙂

Day 9

March 25, 2020 (Wednesday)

              Everyday just keeps getting worse. Cases are now at 600+ and more and more uncertainty and fear fill my heart.

              The news today has been filled with various heart wrenching news. Cases at 600+ and as we are only on our 2^nd week of lockdown, the effect of it might not yet be felt.

              What is happening in our country, in the whole world is surreal. I still can’t believe that we are in a war against a virus so powerful that it is taking the lives of thousands and crimpling economies all around the globe. It’s sad, scary and really frustrating. Thinking of the horror that is happening to the world, of what lies ahead keeps me awake at night. But I know that we will come together, that everyone will eventually work towards one goal, that we will pull our weight and do what we can to make tomorrow better. Together, we are stronger… and that’s all we need to beat this crisis.

😓 😢 💪

Day 10

March 26, 2020 (Thursday)

 “Together we are being called to make a future world. The test we face is for us to prove that we can heal as one.”

There’s no other way to triumph over this crisis but to work together. Let's stop the selfishness, the negativity, the bad vibes and find it in our hearts to bring kindness, compassion and hope to those around us.

Let's do our part.

Together, we can do this. Let's make our future world.

             

😷 💪 🙂

Day 11

March 27, 2020 (Friday)

“Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?”

Faith comes when we know that we can not stand on our own. As we deal with the fear that comes with the pandemic, we turn our back on hopelessness and turn to faith. Faith in a Supreme Being that is looking after us in this time of anxiety. Amidst the panic, the suffering, the pain, the fear, let our hearts be at ease as the Lord is watching over us and showering us with His grace.

 😇 😌

Day 12

March 28, 2020 (Saturday)

Fear of the unknown can either break us or make us stronger. As fear is all over the world, let it not consume us but may it make us stronger. Stronger to face a better tomorrow.

😨 🙂

Day 13

March 29, 2020 (Sunday)

In a span of a few weeks, it’s surreal to see how life as we know it has changed. Just a couple of weeks back, we were all going about our usual ways. We would go to work, complain about work, rant about our officemates, bosses and tasks given to us, pass by our favorite coffee place to get a dose of our favorite drink, hang out with friends, share a few bottles with friends and a whole lot of silly moments, sing our hearts out in a karaoke bar for hours, go to the mall with family, go to church and desperately try to stay awake during the service, go to the grocery and purchase all kinds of necessities and junk food. There were days when we had to drag ourselves out of the house just to go about our usual day. We looked forward to the weekend so that we could have our “me time” and get our well deserved time to rest.

At a blink of an eye, all these changed.

Now, we long for these moments. We long for the days when we can freely go out without fear. We long for the days when we can just be with friends and chat the day away in a coffee shop (or bar or milktea place). We long for days when we can just go inside a mall and shop. We long for days when we didn’t mind going inside a crowded venue. We long for days when alcohol was not a rare commodity. We long for days when we can just go inside our favorite fast food chain and eat those sinful fries and chicken. We long for days when we can freely give out hugs and besos. We long for days when we knew that tomorrow will be another boring day at work. We long for days when we knew what to expect for the days to come. 

This too shall pass. This too will be over. We will get through all the challenges that we are facing now.

For now, let’s make the most of today. Do our part to end this.

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Day 14

March 30, 2020 (Monday)

If you do something again and again, it turns out to be boring routine eventually. Now that we are on our 14^th day of lockdown, I’ve gotten used to waking up late, going about my day in my jammies, sleeping when I want, eating when I feel like it and staying up until the sun rises. I watch different TV series everyday (on my third season of 9-11).

Now that we are on the 14^th day of the lockdown… It is still hard to believe that we are in a situation like this. I am not complaining because I know that I am one of the lucky ones who can do my share simply by staying safe at home. It’s just really odd that though our world is filled with so much technological advancement and there are so many extra ordinary, talented, skilled and superbly smart individuals in the word, we are yet to defeat this virus. It has forced us to go back to basics. It is teaching us to appreciate the simple things in life, to value moments with family and friends, to take each day with so much passion, to not take for granted being able to go out of the house. It has taught us that the basic skills that we learned when we were young kids would go a long way…. TO WASH OUR HANDS properly and to LEARN how to FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.

🙄 🧼

Week One in Lockdown

Week One in Lockdown

DAY 1

March 17, 2020 (Tuesday)

              I have always been a homebody. I don’t mind staying at home the whole day. I always find so many things to do at home and most of the times, I feel that there isn’t enough time during the weekend to do whatever I want to do at home. For some reason, being on community quarantine feels completely different.

              I am at a lost with how to feel as no one knew what the next month would bring. 

😟 😭 😌

DAY 2

May 18, 2020 (Wednesday)

             Day 2 passed by with a glimmer of hope as we were able to get our PB and 14^th month. Something to help us get by the crisis as we were all put on temporary lay-off. Tomorrow may seem uncertain but it was nice to get that feeling of relief during this time of crisis. I shall continue to hold on to faith and believe that we shall triumph over this challenge.

🤪 🤑 🤔

Day 3

March 19, 2020 (Thursday)

              Day 3 is but a part of a long and emotionally exhausting week. It seems that everyday just brings a bit of bad news. ☹ I guess this is part of the process that we have to go through. Let’s continue to hope that from here, everything will just keep on getting better. Let’s also put to heart that we are part of the solution to this crisis. Let’s do our part and be as mindful as we can to help ourselves, our families, the community, the country, the entire world. Together, we can definitely surpass this challenge. 

😲 😨 😷

Day 4

March 20, 2020 (Friday)

             Little by little, staying at home is starting to feel the new “normal”. Though the hours seem to drag longer than usual, it is slowly sinking in that we have to get used to this as this might last for quite some time. Though things are pretty dark for the country because of the virus and uncertainty still looms in the air, being home… being with family just makes everything easier. The week is coming to a close and the challenge of getting through the difficulties ahead still remains. As much as we can, let’s fill our hearts now with all the love, positivity, faith and hope so that we face each day with a strong and determined mind to triumph over this crisis.

🤔 😄 😁

Day 5

March 21, 2020 (Saturday)

Reading through the drastic increase of COVID-19 cases, makes me feel at ease that we are on lockdown. If only we could just stay home the entire day until this all goes away, I would do that but we can’t. This afternoon, we were asked to submit the name and picture of the designated household head. This person would be the only one who will be authorized to go out of the house during the duration of the quarantine. We submitted my name and Ate Armi’s. Our city is also already at 24-hour curfew which is something that I appreciate. With the surge of new COVID-19 cases, it is very important that every single one does their part.

Just when it feels easier to deal with the enhanced community quarantine, you hear a drastic increase of new cases of the virus from DOH. It jolts you back to reality and brings back the fear. We’ve been informed of how contagious the virus is and the government has implored measures on how to prevent the spread of it. Doing our part of staying home, though may seem so trivial, is very important. If only every single one of us would follow the rules, then things would be easier. Let’s strive to be part of the solution, not the problem.

😌 😷 🥺 😮

Day 6

March 22, 2020 (Sunday)

              Today we were greeted with but another sad news about COVID-19. If yesterday, there were 70+ new cases, another 70+ cases have been reported and hence bringing the total of almost 400 in the country. Now social media is filled with sad news about frontliners, our doctors who are battling the disease getting infected and losing their battle to COVID-19.

              The afternoon online mass officiated by Cardinal Tagle my family attended boosted my sad heart.

              With all the sad news regarding our front liners succumbing to the virus, I found a bit of peace and a big chunk of inspiration during the online mass of Cardinal Tagle. If we feel that we are not seen, not noticed, not recognized, remember that the lord always sees us and will take care of us during the darkest moments of our lives. The crisis is real, the suffering and pain that envelops the world now is real. Do not let this darkness engulf our hearts. As we slowly thread through the path of uncertainty with the whole world, remember that faith will eventually lead us to light.

😱 😇 😌

Day 7

March 23, 2020 (Monday)

              Hard to believe that it has been a week since the Enhanced Community Lockdown has been implemented. A week since my heart broke when we had to close down all our venues due to the lockdown. It has been a week since I technically lost my job and entered a world of uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring. I still can not believe this is all happening. It feels surreal that we are in this kind of situation… what hurts more is that I have no idea when this will be over and when we can go back to our normal lives.

              The past three days have been heart breaking for the country. The number of Covid-19 cases has surpassed the 400 mark as today marked the highest number of increase for the country. The front liners are now struggling to fight off the disease with the lack of protective gears, as well as the fall of some of their colleagues. It is a struggle to find the silver lining in what we are facing now as it seems that there is a long way to go before we win over this. The updates on the increase of cases as well as the negative posts of some people on social media makes it more difficult to find hope but when I see some people going out of their way (or staying inside) to do what they can, to contribute, to help…HOPE floats. I know that soon everyone will see the light and go towards one goal : to WORK TOGETHER to triumph over this crisis.

😥 😕 🤔

On LOCKDOWN.

March 17, 2020

              I can’t believe this is happening. To prevent the rapid spread of the COVID-19 virus, the entire LUZON region has been put on ENHANCED COMMUNITY QUARANTINE. Due to this, we are basically stuck inside our houses.

              When the first wave of COVID-19 cases were announced, we immediately felt the effect on our sales. However, 2 weeks after, sales started to normalize. I remember I was outside the parking area when I read the post on the new COVID-19 cases. It was a Friday, and I knew that sales would continue to drop. Lo and behold, it took only a week before we gave in. After 9 days of struggling with sales and with double digit increase in decline, on Sunday, we decided to close down our Metro Manila venues. It broke my heart when I had to make an artwork that would announce our temporary closure.

              I worried for our venue personnel, I knew that closure would mean salary issues. If we have been losing sales for the past weeks and we had to close our venues, what would we use to pay our staff?

              That Monday, I came to work feeling scared. Then, it happened. our president met with the SPs and announced to us that all our venue personnel were put on lay-off and that the head office would have to follow as well. ☹ Lay-off would mean we wouldn’t have work and hence no salary. I wanted to panic, to cry… but I can’t because I had to find the courage to announce the bad news to my team. It broke my heart to tell them the news. I saw their panic, I saw the fear, I felt the uncertainty and I couldn’t do anything about it.

              At around 4:00 pm that day, we had news circulating about a lockdown. When I said my goodbyes, I was really hopeful that we would still get to see each other the next day. We didn’t. Lockdown has been announced that night and we wouldn’t be able to go out of the house anymore.